Panda poop tissues are a great use for panda poop, of which there is way too much

Did you know pandas poop up to 40 times a day?

Did you know they eat up to 30 pounds of bamboo every day, digesting only 17 percent of it, meaning they produce more than 20 pounds of waste? Every day.

Did you know panda poop comes wrapped in bamboo, like a Chinese sticky rice dumping (粽子 zòngzi), and kind of resembles a dried-up unripe mango?

These are some of the things I learned while reading up about “Panda Poo,” which is what a Sichuan-based paper company is calling its latest product: panda-poop-produced paper, specifically tissues, which retail for 43 yuan ($6.50) per box.

Jianwei Fengsheng Paper Company 犍为凤生纸业有限责任公司 is the company behind this idea, which involves taking panda poop from nearby panda conservatories such as the famous Wolong National Nature Reserve — the apparently gazillion pounds of poop produced every day — and using it for practical purposes. Chengdu Business Daily quotes (link in Chinese) Jianwei Fengsheng chairman Yang Chaolin 杨朝林 as saying, “The fibers left over from panda excrement can be extracted” and used to make paper, with the pandas’ digestive system naturally helping out with the process. “This way, each takes what he needs; one can say we’ve created a win-win with the pandas.”

As for the tissues’ higher (though entirely reasonable) price, that’s to offset the 60-some sterilization procedures that are necessary, according to manager Zhou Chuanping. Consumers can rest — or wipe — assured, knowing that the product more than meets hygiene standards.

Are you a true #panda fan? Tissue paper made from “panda poo” is now available in #China. This special product uses real panda poop and food waste from three panda bases in Sichuan. But don’t worry, they like to eat bamboo and the waste consists mainly of bamboo fibers. 🐼💩 pic.twitter.com/sXJjW32N9M

— People's Daily, China (@PDChina) December 19, 2017

Did you know? Panda poop is studied around the world for its DNA profiles.

Did you know pandas have strange microbe ecology, lacking gut diversity but making up for it with Escherichia/Shigella and Streptococcus?

Did you know panda poop has been used before to make paper products elsewhere around the world? From the Edmonton Journal, 2006:

When keepers of [Thailand’s] panda couple — Chuang Chuang and Lin Hui — tired of disposing of the 25 kilograms of feces daily produced by the duo, Prasertsak Buntragulpoontawee came up with the idea of turning it into notebooks, fans, bookmarks and key chains.

So. Are you a true #panda fan, as People’s Daily asks above? Ready to try this product?

Good luck. As of this writing, not even Taobao — which has literally everything — carries any Panda Poo tissues. Demand has far exceeded supply, and for panda fans, there’s a suitable word to describe this:

Poop.